My husband would love for me to just take off and join him on some of his business trips. Although I would love to go (usually at luxury properties), leaving the children behind is challenging. They are at an age where they still need full-time care, yet they also have many activities outside of the house that require driving. I haven’t found the ideal person to watch them overnight that can also act as a chauffer. Plus, with my work schedule it’s nice to just relax on the weekends. I hate to say it, but it’s easier not to go. How can I make him get it?
Too Tired for a Vacation
Dear Too Tired,
First off let me empathize with your busy schedule – raising children and having a career are two full-time jobs. I can also appreciate the time and energy that is required to find good help that leaves you feeling secure enough to get away. Having said that, I’m going to encourage you to make the effort to go away with your husband at least once over the next month. Why? If you’re like most couples with children, it is extremely difficult to experience emotional intimacy and have a genuine conversation without getting interrupted or finding yourselves talking about family business. Sure, it’s easier not to find a sitter, coordinate schedules or pack, but is it going to grow your marriage? Without a healthy marriage, those children aren’t going to be getting the best of either of you. Stop worrying about finding the “ideal” person to watch the children and find someone you can trust. If they miss an activity or two while you’re gone, so what?! They’ll survive. If anything, they will appreciate you more when you return. You might even enjoy reading a book on the plane, a good long soak in the bathtub or sleeping in and ordering your coffee from room service. Enjoy your quiet while you’re husband is off at a business meeting and connect when he returns. You might just be motivated to make this a quarterly event. Happy packing.