Ever feel like your team just isn’t thinking things through? During my speaking customization interviews I often hear leaders’ frustrations about younger employees’ lack of figuring things out for themselves and seeking permission slips for every decision. But here’s the real question: Are we giving them the space to think critically, or are we just…
The best leaders don’t just lead from the top—they show up where the real work happens. When Steve Gordon took over California’s DMV, he didn’t start with memos or mandates. Instead, he hit the road, logging 50,000 miles to visit all 180 DMV offices. Why? Because leadership isn’t about titles—it’s about presence. Gordon’s turnaround of…
I’ve been around the block a few times when it comes to personal development. You name it, I’ve read it, tried it, and probably even taught a workshop on it. But after decades of devouring every self-help book under the sun, I’ve discovered that the true secrets to a better life aren’t always found in…
As December rolls in, it’s the perfect time to pause, take stock, and turn reflection into progress. Whether you’re a leader steering a team, a collaborator striving for impact, or simply someone reflecting on personal growth, this year-end ritual isn’t just about what happened—it’s about what happens next. Why Reflection Matters Reflection isn’t just looking…
In today’s hyperconnected business world, saying “yes” seems like the default response. We’re conditioned to believe that every opportunity is golden, every request deserves our attention, and every meeting warrants our presence. However, as Warren Buffett wisely noted, “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to…
As the elevator doors closed, Michael’s mind raced with doubt. “You’re not ready for this presentation,” a voice whispered, echoing his deepest fears. Just minutes away from pitching his groundbreaking idea to the board, he felt the all-too-familiar grip of anxiety. Yet, in that moment, he recalled Susan Jeffers’ timeless book, Feel the Fear and Do…
Ever had a moment where you wished you could hit the rewind button? That’s regret for you—a universal teacher that, believe it or not, can be our greatest ally in the workplace. So, let’s explore how the lessons from our regrets can push us to step up, speak up, and show up for others, ultimately…
The landscape of AI in our daily lives has been thrust into the limelight, especially after Google’s recent Gemini ad during the Olympics. This ad, featuring a father using Gemini to help his daughter write a fan letter, has stirred significant debate. However, beyond the criticisms and praises, there’s a wealth of lessons on how…
In the ever-evolving landscape of corporate culture, Netflix has once again positioned itself as a beacon of innovative and forward-thinking practices. With the recent update to its famous “culture memo,” Netflix continues to challenge traditional corporate norms, emphasizing the principles of freedom and responsibility. This refresh, spearheaded by Chief Talent Officer Sergio Ezama, underscores the…
Growing up with a sports enthusiast father who always had a game on TV or the car radio meant that I was constantly immersed in the world of sports, overhearing stories of athletes he admired, including the legendary basketball player Bill Walton. Walton’s recent passing made me reflect on his remarkable life and career, which…
In today’s high-stress business environment, mental health is not just a personal concern but a leadership imperative. May, being Mental Health Awareness Month, offers an opportune moment for reflection and action. Especially since despite efforts made to improve workforce mental health, employees are still struggling. The recent statistics are a wake-up call: Sixty-one percent of…
In today’s dynamic work environments, where the distinction between professional and personal spaces blurs, especially with the ascent of remote work, the art of setting boundaries emerges as a pivotal skill. It’s akin to being a modern-day knight establishing your own kingdom: you need walls (boundaries) to protect the realm (your sanity), but also gates…
As a leader, what can the often-frustrating experience of waiting in line teach us about patience, perspective, presence, and our own anxiety levels? In a delightful foray into the world of lines, Michael Blanding’s Harvard Business Review article, Customers at the Back of the Line Are Anxious—Can You Keep Them from Leaving? pulls back the…
Not long ago, a friend living in a mid-sized city was facing a serious health issue and required immediate surgery. As word got around to the family, one family member living in a major city that boasted of an impressive medical center, insisted our friend must seek out a specific surgeon she recommended who had…
Hey fabulous humans! Can you believe we’ve successfully catapulted ourselves into another year? It’s like we’re all starring in our own blockbuster movie, and I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to embrace the script with gusto! So, let’s kick off the year by talking about something that might seem mundane but packs a…
“May I ask where you gathered that information? I’d like to learn more.” It is a simple, straightforward statement that should be on everyone’s lips, and yet the general lack of facts in regard to just about anything is tearing so many of us apart. Oh, I am not talking about politics, or baseball trade…
What are the secrets of social media influencers and why are they so powerful? When their messaging is seen on Tik-Tok or another social media platform, we can view their marketing techniques and unique visions through a lens of judgement or we can learn from them and embrace the lessons they teach. Especially since influencers…
It’s a sad commentary, and unfortunately, I hear it too often during my coaching calls, customization interviews and from conference attendees. “My company’s management talks about how transparent and answerable they are, but to be honest, they’re opaque and far from responsible.” How many times have I heard whispered complaints about leaders who say one…
“How do I keep my team more motivated and engaged?” The above question is asked of me practically every time I speak. I agree that in this post-pandemic, sometimes hybrid, sometimes not hybrid world, that engagement and motivation are often challenging commodities for managers to find. However, that should never stop you from trying –…
While watching fireworks I flashed back to a prior 4th of July when my then four-year-old daughter shared a key strategy to minimizing stress. We were attending a party with a few hundred others at a friend’s coastal home. The view was outstanding, but their home only had one bathroom. When my daughter and I…
Dear Colette, A former colleague sent me a request for a recommendation on LinkedIn. However, I really don’t want to give a recommendation because in my experience, this person didn’t fulfill even the most basic requirements of his position. How do you suggest I handle this? – Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Dear Don’t Ask,…
Dear Colette, I am starting a new sales position that requires full-time travel in my car. You mentioned during one of your presentations you’re a recovering control freak, so curious if you have any strategies to stay organized on the road and maximize my time. – Numb Bum Dear Numb Bum, That’s a pretty hysterical…
The fortune is in the follow-up is a line I’ve both heard and repeated many times coming from a sales background. And it’s true. Research shows it’s more effective to work with a client you’ve already established a relationship with, rather than go after new business. But I’m not just talking about business when I speak…
“We don’t need to share the same opinions as others, but we need to be respectful.”–Taylor Swift “Hey you!” My teacher daughter (my, times does fly), recently attended her school’s 8th grade basketball game. One parent was over-the-top in spending the entire first quarter yelling at the referee. My daughter who was raised to speak…
If you want more balance, you must fill up your wellness tank.
As a professional eavesdropper, I recently overhead two people discuss everything that is going wrong in the world today (including being late to board our flight). The smart aleck in me held back from whipping around and breaking into Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” tune to end their broken record of doom. We crave…
Spring is a time of new growth and, I believe, a time of infinite possibility and personal development. However, just as you can’t expect a rose to grow and bloom in the desert, you can’t expect your career to blossom without nurturing. Focus on the process, not the outcome. Before I begin talking about…
“The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.” —Lady Dorothy Nevill, writer and famed horticulturalist Lately, I have been thinking a lot about empathy and how we are relating to one another 2023 style. As…
It’s January, and we all know what that means: a friend will announce that she’s promising to cut all carbs from her diet or she will begin a training program with a trainer at the health club. I understand. At the start of a new year, it’s challenging to avoid the “exercise or no more…
2022 brought uncertainty, inflation, supply-chain shortages, bigotry, uncomfortable change and all too often, vitriol. The demands on everyone’s time only seemed to increase causing many to look for greener pastures, others to skate by and even fewer to draw boundaries. Yet, even with all of the post-Covid, inflation-ridden, uncertain drama, I hope you still are…
Whether your caregivers read you a nightly bedtime story or your work team regularly meditates before a meeting, you experienced the power of rituals. These small, repetitive acts can shape our behavior and shift our emotions. Rituals can produce big benefits in lowering stress and anxiety, increasing our enjoyment of an activity, building healthy habits…
When was it that people first started to chat about their digital connections? I’m sure Reid Hoffman, the founder of LinkedIn would know. LinkedIn was founded around December of 2002 and, for those of you who are internet historians you might already know it officially came on the scene almost two years before Facebook. Though…
Empathy, the necessary human trait of having the ability to share in the feeling of others, is declining in our society. Things have gotten worse, since the article above was published. There are numerous studies on the topic and, of those who care, fingers seem to be pointing to social media, cable news, reality TV…
Would it surprise you to learn my Google Analytics report shows my most searched for blog continues to be “phraseology to leave a meeting early”? And this particular blog was written pre-pandemic! Given the increased volume of meetings now sucking up your time, I felt it best to revisit and update my advice. First of…
Have you ever heard of an ambivert? No, it isn’t a West Texas animal or a driverless vehicle. An ambivert (and I confess to being one) is, by definition, “a person whose personality has a balance of extrovert and introvert features.” People assume that because I am a keynote speaker I spend my life dancing,…
Can you recall a time at work you hesitated to share your thoughts, opinions or truth out of concern for possible embarrassment, rejection or even punishment? Unsafe environments prevent individuals from showing up as themselves, asking questions, raising issues, taking risks or disagreeing. These unhealthy workplaces lower innovation, engagement and productivity, as well as, increasing…
Feeling burned-out? Fried? Crispy? Well-done and over it? Already planning your next weekend on Monday morning at 8:02 a.m.? Oh, that’s right…I forgot. Someone already scheduled their mandatory Monday team meeting for 6:45 a.m. before the 8:00 a.m. staff meeting so your plans will have to wait. Am I being flippant? According to recent employee…
Has it only been a few years since the pandemic? Pretty much. In that time, we have changed the way we meet, the way we communicate, the way we schedule, our work culture and in the process our work mindsets. The whirlwind brought to us by an infinitesimally small viral particle has changed us as…
The COVID-19 pandemic reshaped the modern workplaces across the world and the United States. Unfortunately, women were disproportionately impacted sparking the “She-Cession.” According to McKinsey’s Women in the Workplace annual study, one in four women are considering stepping out or stepping back from the workplace which is unprecedented. Now more than ever, management must holistically…
Are you guilty of multi-tasking during meetings? Unfortunately, being present during meetings, especially present-day virtual meetings, is so rare, I wish I could bottle and sell it. Here’s a few facts you can toss around the tele-conferencing office (Source: Prezi State of Attention Research): In any online meeting about 95 percent of the audience is…
As we embrace a New Year filled with lists, promises, or one-word themes, I need to remind all of us that no matter how hard we try, we will never be perfect. We will never be “done.” We are a work in progress. Any self-directed changes we make don’t happen overnight, but over time. Rome…
As 2021 comes to an end, what did you rethink or unlearn over the past couple of years in order to personally and professionally survive and thrive? I’ll go first. Being well versed in the science of change didn’t stop me from initially doubting the success of virtual events. After all, how could the energy,…
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou Having arrived earlier than anticipated for a planning meeting, I stopped by the hotel café and ordered an herbal tea. It was between lunch and dinner and over…
Make Hybrid Work, Work with Less Burnout Are we virtual today, in-person, in-person on alternate days, every other week, masked, unmasked, sometimes masked? And, by the way, does anyone have a rubber band? Huh? My point in bringing up the ubiquitous, commonly used, taken-for-granted, rubber band is that our co-workers are hardly elastic. We…
“Life is mostly froth and bubbles, Two things stand like stone, Kindness in another’s trouble, Courage in your own.” — Emma Burstall, Bestselling Author Bubbles. They have fascinated us since we were babies. In fact, my heart fills when with joy when I think of the day I took my own daughters to the children’s museum…
There has been a huge shift in the way people are looking at work. I call it “Going from YO-YO to YOLO.” Most people in corporate America lived a resume life. It was the YO-YO. We entered a company at the bottom, tried to work our way up, got bored (or moved into a…
Please do not judge me for doing this, but I want to tell you an absolutely true story about a judge. She works out at my friend’s gym, and if you did not know what she did for a living, you would think she was either a stand-up comedian or the head of a puppy dog raincoat company. What I am trying to say is that she is super…
“If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.” — Gail Sheehy The pandemic changed our world overnight demanding agility, flexibility and innovation on every level. Businesses, leaders and teams adjusted to survive, leaving individuals to work from their kitchen table or a bedroom corner. Now that we’re almost…
As I sat down to write this article, a dated song danced its way into my mind: The Police singing “Message in a Bottle,” with the famous lyric, Sending out an SOS. Well, sure, it’s a love song, but as a business leader don’t you love your employees? Don’t you want to better connect with…
As a keynote speaker on the topics of leadership, connection, resilience, and relationships, I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about empathy versus compassion over the past year. In fact, in my virtual presentations on personal connection, I quickly became aware of the buzzwords associated with the COVID-19 lockdown; authenticity, mindfulness, empathy and compassion.…
Are you tired of being tired? Experiencing one repetitious day after another as you struggle to maintain your energy or focus? Too tired from sitting all day to even get up and move? Lost interest in picking up the phone and connecting with a friend? Or, maybe you simply lost your zest, gusto, or passion…
As a virtual keynote speaker who provides strategies for successful behavioral change, resolutions are so last year. Why? Without massive desire and discipline, individuals fail to achieve their stated goals. And to avoid feeling like a failure, yet again, most people avoid setting resolutions. I should know, as I spent years making and breaking…
Soft skills are often the long-forgotten tools your business is missing. Leaders tend to take these skills for granted, assuming that most employees or applicants already have these abilities perfected. Few take the time to assess employees on these skills, and even fewer consider the benefits of further developing these skills across their company.…
Six years ago my car was in the middle of a five-car pileup. I distinctly remember the moments that followed as individuals emerged from their cars. No one appeared to be physically injured, although one person showed possible signs of shock. The first car’s driver jumped out, surveyed his smashed bumper, and left the scene…
Real estate agents know property value is all about location, location, location. Connected leaders, savvy team members, and salespeople know professional success is all about communication, communication, communication. The recent pandemic has forced our hand to rely on technology over in-person meetings, events or conferences. To continue to connect, inform, and inspire others, everyone must…
During an action-packed movie scene, it’s not uncommon to watch a getaway vehicle, being chased by seven squad cars, fly 300 feet off a bridge, land smack dab in the middle of a busy freeway going the wrong way and still make it to safety. Or, perhaps during a thriller an individual awakes to the…
Quarantines, travel restrictions, remote work (with children underfoot), isolation, and financial loss due to cancellations, reduced hours, or the stock market all contribute to individuals feeling a lack of control. A lack of control increases stress, worry, and anxiety because you feel you don’t have the resources to handle what’s in front of you –…
Let’s face it. RELATIONSHIPS are messy. And success in life, no matter how you define it, requires a strong foundation of relationships – both professional and personal. Your relationships with coworkers, supervisors, customers, your significant other, friends, children, parents, siblings, and everyone in between, all support the quality of your life. Positive relationships and powerful…
Have you ever worked with someone who couldn’t benefit from gaining advice on their career? How about gaining awareness of a behavior that’s getting in their way? I didn’t think so. Why then is it so difficult to both ask for and receive quality feedback? Although people say they want to learn and grow, everyone…
The woman in the royal blue jacket sitting in the front row gasped when she heard my next request. “One at a time, please walk to the front of the room, plant your feet, smile, and say both your name and where you work.” Easy, right? Simply stating your name and employer information doesn’t require…
Loneliness is detrimental, destructive, and sometimes deadly. Loneliness has the same impact on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, more than even obesity. Different than depression or feelings of solitude, loneliness is more about the quality of a person’s social relationships. The workplace is not immune, and everyone pays the price when loneliness strikes.…
Mistakes happen even under the best of circumstances. In today’s digitally-distracted, demanding world where many businesses are understaffed, mistakes happen even more frequently. A recent client shared with me that presentation binders [prepared in hopes of inking a major deal], showed up onsite an hour prior to the meeting… with a competing institution’s name on…
Business articles and books which marry the theme of leadership with heart have gained traction of late, and as a speaker on the power of connection, I’m thrilled to witness the joyful union. When Robert K. Greenleaf coined the phrase “servant leadership” over 30 years ago, who knew it would take this long to shift…
There’s no better time than a new year for reflection and renewal. After all, how can you recognize and celebrate your growth if you don’t look back to honor what brought you joy, the challenges you overcame and the connections you claimed? Without contemplation, how can you shed light on what you truly want or…
The holiday season is chock full of additional, and often unrealistic, expectations around entertaining relatives, parties, decorating, shopping, wrapping, cooking, cleaning and traveling. All this activity fills what little whitespace remained on your already-crammed calendar. Emotions run high filled with seasonal stress, as well as crowded mall parking lots, airports and freeways. If you prefer…
Connection is the glue that keeps relationships, projects, and organizations together, which is why leaders and teams often look for opportunities to strengthen bonds in the form of internal events and outside activities. Research supports that teams who play together have a better chance of staying together. Experiencing the person behind the position leads to…
Leaders encourage new team members to ask clarifying questions surrounding a project, protocol or procedure. Connected leaders take it one step further and reassure individuals to reach out for support or help when needed. Yet, too many individuals still hesitate asking for what they need to succeed demanding that leaders change their approach. According to…
Effective leaders know deliberate learning is not optional, but a requirement of growth and success. Consistent learning demands an investment of time, money, and energy, but the price paid pales in comparison to the abundant returns in awareness, understanding, and the development of richer connections to people, places, and ideas. Which begs me to…
Lack of personal connection and the absence of human support is a struggle in most businesses today. Although companies can address this issue simply through understanding and better communication, many remain so singularly focused on profits, they are unaware of the insidious internal damage caused by poor morale. Here are a few things to consider…
Decisions, decisions. What is my vision for a perfectly wonderful life? Briana owns a successful insurance agency. Her daily routine includes providing timely quotes, handling claims for accidents and catastrophes, and expediting policy changes. With the power of the internet and electronic processing of payments and claims, clients anticipate immediate answers. Frequently barraged by a…
According to Walter Isaacson, biographer and author of Leonardo da Vinci, an important takeaway from the genius painter is that “being curious about everything not only makes you more creative, it enriches your life.” Turns out the artist who painted the Mona Lisa (and is often credited with the inventions of the parachute, helicopter and tank)…
Chloe, a teeny fifth grade student worked the concession stand for basketball games to honor her student council volunteer requirement. One evening, a group of eighth grade boys approached the concession stand and proceeded to mock her petite frame. Rather than shrink in the moment, Chloe looked them square in the eye and said, “I…
“Every human being, of whatever origin, of whatever station, deserves respect. We must each respect others even as we respect ourselves.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson Without respect, relationships falter. Everyone wants and needs to feel respected, and yet, research from a worldwide poll of over 20,000 employees shows that 54% of people report they don’t…
“I’d love to (fill in the blank), if only I had the time.” Most likely, this statement bubbles up often in your busy, fully-committed life. Rarely do I meet an individual who feels they can afford time off the grid to travel, take a class, or simply push away from the computer at a reasonable…
From my window seat on a Coach bus bound for Chicago O’Hare Airport, I watched the bus driver hustling below to load passengers’ luggage in the berth, in an attempt to make up for arriving 30 minutes late. Tension permeated the air as aggravated riders worried about possible missed flights. As the driver rushed back…
No matter how much you enjoy spending quality time with family and friends around the holidays, tensions and stress inevitably escalate as different personalities and preferences collide. Perhaps you have a politically passionate or pushy relative who excels at making you uncomfortable with their opinions or overly-personal questions. Even under the best of circumstances, with…
My smartphone surprised me. It was about 7pm, and I had just gotten back to my hotel room after a long day at an out-of-town speaking engagement. I was startled by a flash from my phone, with the message, “Good evening, Colette” and photo of what looked like a row of brightly lit New Orleans…
“Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of your own.” ~ Harold Coffin Connecting with others often brings warm, fuzzy feelings of affection, mutual understanding, and inclusion. But let’s face it, all that can go out the window quickly when someone you know gets something you want—like that promotion, that new…
As a professional speaker, it’s not uncommon to review presentation notes or nap on a 6 am, 5-hour flight to the east coast. So recently, when I woke up to witness my male seatmate peering over my tray table and reading my women’s career leadership notes, I was not surprised. Yet, his actions laid the…
Change is inevitable. As humans, we reject change naturally because we are creatures of habit. Even the most adventurous individuals often long for rituals and everyday normal routines. After all, consistency and control over our schedule lowers our stress. Yet, if you strive to be a leader and a person of influence in your place…
One of the questions I am asked as a speaker who teaches the power of relationship building is this: How can I be more influential in the workplace? You already understand the benefits of being an influential person at your place of work. People look up to you, respect you, etc., and this…
If all your teachers walked, talked, thought and looked like you, your education would suffer greatly. What makes you think mentorship is any different? Whether protégé or mentor, when cultivating connections, diversity matters to maximize learning and growth. Talent takes many forms. As a leader, you may know this intellectually, yet still find yourself guiding…
As a professional speaker, I’m always stressing the value of mindful, genuine communication in building effective business relationships. So, it’s no wonder I get excited when I hear of companies ready to step outside their comfort zone to put this into practice. That’s especially true when corporate leaders show they’re willing to break out of…
Can you remember the last time you spent an hour with someone between the ages of 12 and 64, when neither of you checked your phone? Let’s face it—these days, media-free time is a rarity. In fact, according to research reported on Axios, we check our phones 50 times each day on average, with some…
How did Kendra Scott go from designing jewelry out of her spare bedroom with a $500 investment in 2002 to being valued at $1 billion in recent months? This smart, savvy businesswoman knows and leverages the power of connection. Witnessing Kendra on the platform at a recent event, I walked away with certainty that your…
Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is the probable reason so few engage in it. ~Henry Ford Propped on my bedroom shelf, directly above my white laminate desk, rested the iconic, orange “THINK” sign my mother gifted me. Being eleven years old, the accompanying story about some company named IBM using the slogan…
It’s that time of year again! Caught between candy bars and cranberries, we might overlook the true theme of this month: gratitude. Gratitude not only transforms how we see ourselves, but the way we view and interact with people around us. For those of us in business who are constantly relating to others-fellow employees and…
If you view office politics as a dirty, slimy way to get ahead, I’m here to suggest playing this game doesn’t have to be manipulative or sleazy. In fact, it’s one of the most direct, smart and savvy ways to make your mark and build connections with those that count. Yet, who can blame you…
Leaders unknowingly destroy trust, undermine productivity, increase employee stress, and decrease engagement through inconsistent behaviors and practices. Substitute the word “leader” for salesperson, administrator, teacher, coach or parent, and the statement still rings true. Recent research even suggests employees prefer a supervisor who consistently acts like a jerk rather than an unpredictable one who wavers…
No, this article is not about setting aside your judgement and becoming more compassionate towards those you lead to create better connections. In fact, it’s just the opposite. I’m proposing that to maximize your relationships with others, you must first boldly accept yourself…flaws and all. Let me explain. Acceptance requires reflection and ownership of your…
Research shows that stressed Americans aren’t taking the breaks they have earned despite noting the benefits of downtime. Ninety percent say time off helps them relax and recharge, but forty percent won’t go to avoid a “mountain of work” upon return. Others may physically leave the office, but end up on a work-cation, constantly checking…
Be honest, now. Are you seriously and selflessly dedicated to your job? Are you willing to always be there for your employer, even if that means working after hours, on weekends, or being on-call 24/7? If you are, you are not in the minority. According to research published in this month’s Harvard Business Review, the…
“Did you do your homework?” my militant mother, a teacher by trade, would respond to my request to hang out with friends. Without a “yes” you did not pass go, nor collect $200. Rather you went directly to homework jail as work preceded reward. At the time, I despised her ridiculous rituals that restricted my…
What can a leader learn about connecting from both a classical music competition and a TED Talk? According to research, visual presence dramatically impacts and influences listeners’ opinions without ever hearing one note or word. Although it seems counterintuitive, researcher Chia-Jung-Tsay, discovered both novices and musical experts were most likely to identify competition winners by…
No matter how kind, compassionate, or empathetic you have become, the moment you meet someone, the unconscious part of your brain instantly formulates a preliminary assessment of that person. Amy Cuddy, a Harvard Business School professor who’s been studying the science of first impressions for years, says the two basic questions the brain answers when…
I missed my evening connection at the airport, but that doesn’t compare to the amount of “missed connections” I witnessed during my layover. 1. Recognizing the missed flight was out of my control, I chose to let it go and instead enjoy a hot beverage from Starbucks before digging through email. The long line didn’t take…
Many of us have heard that it takes 21 days to form a new habit. Three weeks of conscious effort…no problem! Right? Well, not exactly. If this were true, all of us would be in better shape…financially, mentally and physically! Interested in the origin of this myth? Learn more here. Here’s the truth. A research…
Dear Colette, I’m determined to advance my career in 2016 which requires changing positions. Fortunately, I’m also attending numerous holiday parties and plan to use my network to get the word out. There will also be a few individuals in attendance I don’t know, but would like to approach. Any advice? -On the Move Dear…
One of my coaching clients recently hosted a direct sales party. If you’re unfamiliar, the get-togethers follow the Tupperware party model, but showcase everything from cooking tools to clothing, anti-aging creams to adult toys. Fifteen people said they would come, and eighteen more said maybe. Not wanting to run short, she made a full spread…
Dear Colette, I’m at my wit’s end with my position. As others in my office have been let go due to decreasing budgets, my workload increases. I understand the situation and have taken more on without complaint. Yet, other managers within the office often come to me asking for support as well. I know better…
When visiting my parents years ago, I watched my then 90-year-old father’s oversized, arthritic fingers carefully push the phone buttons to re-order medicine from the VA. I smiled and told him what a rock star he is for adapting to technology. A Baby Boomer friend, who reluctantly learned to use her bank’s mobile app for…
Dear Colette, I have been asked by my sister and her friend to help them launch the same type of business I own. They want me to share every last detail and best practice I’ve worked years to perfect. I am VERY conflicted because I do not want to be unhelpful, yet if I do,…
Do you feel exhausted before the day is even half over? Stress drains us of our energy, weakens our focus, our immune system, and our brilliance. Research shows prevention is still the number one way to reduce stress beating out even exercise and meditation. Stop the stress from happening in the first place to start…
Dear Colette, I’ve been asked to manage a low-priority, on-going project amongst my colleagues. Having been a team member on other projects, I’ve overheard the grumbling when a project manager assigns tasks to the team. Therefore, I decided to take a different approach in hopes of getting the team to enjoy the project more.…
What was your latest, greatest mistake? Was it when you attached the wrong client proposal, or maybe your idea for that leads campaign that went over budget and ended in record-low quarterly sales…? Or maybe you can’t even talk about it because it’s too embarrassing! Understandable, but think about this for a moment: isn’t the…
Dear Colette, I’m part of a project team and one person in particular does not carry his load. Fun guy, but doesn’t follow through. The way our system is structured, our team is accountable to one another without any direct supervision. Rumblings amongst the team are common, but no one is willing to step up…
Dear Colette, After working for the same boss for 9 years I got a new boss this past March. Old boss is in his early 60’s (same as me) and my new boss is 35. At review time this June, I did not get a raise or a bonus that I have always had every…
After months of selling a prospective client on your company’s excellent products and personalized service, you finally… FINALLY… seal the deal! You congratulate yourself for bringing them on board, and full speed ahead, you shift your focus to other leads. A year or two later, however, they call you for help with an issue that…
Dear Colette, Thank you for all of your insight, thoughts and suggestions during your program at my industry conference. I’m inspired and understand the potential that lies within me, and I’m ready to take the next steps. I now recognize key areas where I should be focusing my energy and participation, and unfortunately it’s a…
A good friend has just gotten the news no one wants to hear: her test results show cancer. She tells you her diagnosis over the phone, and instantly you’re hit with all kinds of emotions – concern, sadness, sympathy, and worst of all, the knowledge that there is nothing you can do to make this…
Dear Colette, As a volunteer for a community group, I’m frustrated with our monthly meetings and looking for help. Technically, I’m not supervising the individuals I work with on my particular project, but we are all responsible for getting monthly updates and insights in our particular area from one another. One person in particular, rather…
~ Chris Matakas, #Human: Learning To Live In Modern Times Call it the duality of existence, or universal yin and yang, but there is a natural balance in life, both around and within us. When I consider this applied personally, I’m reminded of my long-held belief that whatever we naturally excel at both serves and…
“You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.” ~Walt Disney Among the most vivid memories stored in my brain’s what-doesn’t-kill-us-makes-us-stronger area is that day on the school bus in 7th grade. New to the neighborhood and school, I wanted…
Dear Colette, I work in an office that has a large generational gap and most of the “in office” staff is female. More than once this has led to ruffled feathers and confrontation, usually on a more personal side. More and more, however, I am noticing the younger staff turning to other young members of…
There’s a skill many of us have perfected that we can call on when pressed. For some, it takes years to hone. Others seem to have an innate ability to wield this power at the most critical times. Occasionally, we may astound ourselves with how easily we can summon it. So what is this skill?…
Dear Colette, Someone I know well (let’s call him Bob) was recently “terminated” (his word) from his job. Bob is also friends with my supervisor since all of our children have grown up together both in school and on the sports field. Since I work at a large firm, Bob left me a voice mail…
It’s never too late to go after what you want, and you don’t have to wait until a New Year rolls around to get started. Today is the perfect day to begin to eliminate faulty focus and choose to manifest the life you want. Start with a clear vision. Decide what it is you are…
If you put yourself on a healthy media diet, perhaps you missed the lie NBC front man of “Nightly News” Brian Williams shared when covering the Iraq war. Williams claimed the helicopter he was traveling in was hit by enemy fire, yet during Wednesday’s broadcast he apologized for “a mistake in recalling the events of…
Dear Colette, How do you deal with family members who are always (and I do mean always) asking for money but don’t always pay back the money borrowed? I’m one of six siblings, the one with the better job and no children, so my siblings think I’m rolling in money! Sure, I have my…
In all the media frenzy over the Sony hacking scandal, one story concerning actress Amy Adams caught my attention. In case you missed it, Amy was scheduled to appear on NBC’s Today show to promote her latest film, “Big Eyes” (which earned her a Golden Globe this past Sunday). While waiting backstage, she was informed…
Assertiveness is Speaking Your Truth with Strength and Sensitivity — Colette ASK Assertively for What you Need to Be Successful. Assertiveness shows respect to you AND others. It’s a core belief we are equal as human beings regardless of job title, status, or life experiences. Remember to keep your body language and tone of voice…
Dear Colette, I’m a docent at a botanical garden and lead a monthly walk, preceded by a 15-minute talk about the plants, indigenous peoples or other relevant topics. Training to be a docent is a rigorous, 10-week, in-depth program, complete with a thick binder of information. The training concludes with a difficult written and walking…
“Look at all the sugar in these cereals,” the shrunken, 85-year old man said aloud at my local CVS drugstore. As he reached for the Cheerios off the shelf, our eyes met. “I’m down to one teaspoon in my coffee, instead of three. Heck, during WWII I was happy if the coffee was even hot.”…
Dear Colette, I love what you teach about being clear and direct in your communication versus being passive- digressiveTM . However, this can produce a catch-22, as men don’t expect women to be direct. There’s even research published that shows when women are direct, we’re perceived as *itches. The exception is when we speak on…
On a recent trip to Washington DC, I made it a point to visit the National Mall, specifically to visit the memorials. Seeing the reflection of a Korean War veteran as he observed the Korean War Veterans Memorial wall moved me to tears. As I turned to gain composure, my eyes caught the wall behind…
Dear Colette, My 18-year-old daughter went off to college a couple months ago and now my husband and I are empty-nesters — and I can’t seem to get out of my funk. I find myself crying more often, especially first thing in the morning after my husband has left for work. I’m starting to support…
In this Halloween season, when witches and ghouls take center stage, maybe it’s time to ask yourself if you’re scary. No, I’m not referring to the costume you’re planning to wear this year. I mean, do others feel safe sharing their truth with you? After all, as a leader — at work or at home—you’re…
Dear Colette, As a manager in a multinational company, I’m often asked by management and others to attend meetings at rather unreasonable times of day, night, middle of the night and Sundays. Recently my manager asked me to cover one time zone. However, I continue to receive requests from him to attend meetings that are…
Janet is a human resource manager who’s lost her mojo when it comes to asserting herself in her newest position. “I’ve become afraid to speak up when I should,” she confessed to me. She’s not alone – I hear this theme often. Just like any fear, the more we avoid it, the larger it looms.…
Dear Colette, A woman who works with me continually focuses on the negative. For example, she repeatedly complains about how she financially struggles to make ends meet. I offer advice, but she seems more interested in rehashing the same old gripes than actually doing something about her situation. It’s not that I lack compassion for…
“So, do you have a job yet?” my parents once again asked during our ritual, weekly call to which I replied, “Not yet.” Given the latest research on waiting, I now understand why my folks were anxious. After all, the outcome was out of their control, coupled with the fact both were concerned for my…
Dear Colette, I have a question related to communicating assertively. I have lost hours stuck in meetings because I’m unable to tactfully excuse myself. I believe I’m a bit too passive, or I feel rude if I interrupt. What is the best way to deal with this situation? -Wasted Time Dear Wasted Time, Keep in mind…
After reading compelling research specific to women getting ahead in the workplace, I want to revisit why no is the password to the next level. No matter your position or career goals, I believe you can benefit from these findings by Lise Vesterlund, economics professor at the University of Pittsburgh. Her latest research reveals that…
Dear Colette, For the last few years, I’ve had a mentor at work. Throughout, I’ve received guidance, insight and confidence. I believe, however, the relationship has run its course. How do I tactfully end it? – Breaking Up Is Hard to Do Dear Breaking Up, Given the limited amount of information I have regarding your…
Dear Colette, Following my most recent presentation to a client, I’ve gotten feedback from my boss that while the content is fine, my delivery could use improvement. Apparently, I don’t project enough confidence. Any advice? – It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It Dear How You Say It, The timing of your…
If you’ve ever wondered why someone with similar skills seems to get ahead faster, it may be due to their level of confidence rather than competence, according to a recent article, “The Confidence Gap,” in The Atlantic Monthly. No matter how comfortable we are in our skin, we all find ourselves in situations where we…
Dear Colette, I manage a culturally diverse team, which in theory is great for bringing different viewpoints to the table. What I’m finding in practice, however, is that it can be challenging to draw out some of the softer-spoken, more introverted team members when the group meets. Certain people seem to dominate the conversation, while…
In recent weeks, a frenzy has erupted over a photo that ran in a woman’s magazine. It wasn’t the picture that caused the outrage, but rather the less than transparent way it was obtained and how it was used. If you missed the story, I’ll bring you up to speed. Monika Allen, a 35-year-old San…
Shortly after sending out my monthly e-zine a few years back, I received an email from one of my subscribers, an executive assistant. “You are completely professional, articulate, and obviously a very intelligent speaker. So, when I read you’re most recent e-zine, I wondered if it was a test for us to see if we…
Be Here Now! Not only is that the title of spiritual teacher Ram Dass’s book published over 40 years ago, but it’s the rallying cry of the mindfulness movement (and the cry of the frustrated homeowner waiting for the cable guy). Based on the latest research, it’s also a way to avoid unhappiness. Be…
Dear Colette, This past month I participated in a well-attended, two-day seminar filled with like-minded entrepreneurs. Obviously, many of us exchanged cards. In some circumstances, it was simply to be polite and other times to support each other’s growth based on a deeper conversation. Here’s the challenge. My inbox has been deluged with email newsletters,…
Dear Colette, I was recently at a networking event and had an awkward situation come up. I’m hoping you can give me some pointers to avoid this type of encounter in the future. Here’s what happened: In the midst of a conversation with a gentleman I had just met, he asked if I knew…
If you’ve ever thought about launching a career as a speaker, you’ll want to read two blogs by my friends and fellow speakers Linda Larsen and Kelly Swanson. Linda shares some real-life experiences she has had during her speaking career that reveal the not-so-glamorous truth about being a motivational speaker. Kelly surveyed a dozen female…
Dear Colette, I was raised by parents who believed, “If you’re not five minutes early, you’re late.” This mindset has served me well and I value punctuality. However, I now work for a manager who writes up employees for being as little as three minutes late, no excuses. What makes this so frustrating is that…
Recently in the media we were able to witness a beautiful example of a professional woman who, in an awkward situation over something she was ultimately responsible for, chose to take ownership, be vulnerable and speak her truth. Would you have done the same? A little background: Melissa Harris-Perry, a writer, professor and political commentator,…
How many of you spent mind-time visualizing what you want your 2014 to look like? It’s a good idea to do so, because after all, the Law of Attraction, popularized by the book and movie The Secret, says that you will draw to yourself situations that reflect your dominant thoughts and beliefs. Perhaps you even…
We are choosing to post this classic Ask Colette again since this question (or a variation) seems to come in every holiday season. Dear Colette, Help! My annoying mother is coming to town, and I dread her visits. She’s really not that bad, but I get tired of her “helpful” advice, whether it’s a better…
Keeping this month’s article short and sweet because we know that this season is chock full of additional, and often unrealistic, expectations–entertaining relatives, parties, decorating, shopping, wrapping, cooking, and cleaning. Emotions run high as most are sharing this seasonal stress, as well as crowded mall parking lots. Number one way to lower your stress? Crazy…
Dear Colette, I’ve recently started having an issue with the neighbor girl who babysits my 3- and 5-year-old kids a few times a month. The last couple of times she’s watched them, they were still up when my husband and I got home, well past their bedtime. Not only that, but my 5-year-old mentioned how…
“Oh boy, another juicy turkey this year,” my aunt proclaimed, rolling her eyes as my uncle struggled to carve the dry-as-sawdust bird. Ah yes, the holiday tradition of a dry turkey and a sarcastic comment. Can anyone else relate to this scenario shared by a friend? As we head into the season when loved ones…
Dear Colette, I’ve been taught there are two things you shouldn’t talk about – politics and religion. Of course, I do discuss these topics among close friends who I know are respectful of varying viewpoints, as I am. But I don’t consider these subjects appropriate in an office setting. Unfortunately, I have a co-worker who…
You may have heard the statement, “Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.” But the truth is, research has shown time and again that people are more honest when they know they’re being watched. A recent study found that installing theft-detection software in restaurants led to a 7 percent revenue…
Dear Colette, I have a friend who works for a multi-level marketing company and often posts her invitations to upcoming events directly on my Facebook page. It’s awkward because I want to support her business, but I resent having to go in and hide these invites from my timeline. What do you suggest? -Tagged…
Bacon has a brilliant marketing manager. I mean, come on, bacon is like cigarettes – bad for your health and everyone knows it. Yet it’s everywhere these days: We’ve got bacon-scented candles, bacon woven into Sprinkles brand cupcakes, bacon plush toys, even bacon soda. Recipes containing bacon abound, from Gourmet Magazine to Better Homes and…
If you are like me, you are often searching for ways to have more energy. Stress drains us of our energy, weakens our focus, our immune system, and our brilliance. Research says prevention is still the number one way to reduce stress. Stop the stress from happening in the first place! Stop Doing One More…
Girlfriends rock! What would we do without them? Our girlfriends listen through the painful details, laugh so hard with us we cry, and cry with us until the laughter comes back. In short, they keep us sane and connected. They let us know we’re not alone as we navigate each phase of our life. I…
I was enjoying an excerpt from the book by Gabrielle Reece, former pro volleyball player and supermodel. She had some thoughtful insights on aging gracefully, noting, “I can rock a magazine spread with the help of Photoshop, but I am not the hot-ta-ta boffo babe I once was. I am, like everyone else in the…
“How come you never listen to music?” I asked my mother on the drive home from practice one night. “I prefer listening to the quiet,” she replied. As a 15-year-old teen who couldn’t wait to get home and blast my music, I silently thought, “I’ll never be like you.” And then it happened. While driving…
Dear Colette, I recently participated in your Emotional Intelligence (EI) webinar and have a question regarding EI and assertiveness. What do you do if you work with a colleague who makes you look like an idiot in meetings and then acts so sweetly one-on-one if you mention the behavior? (“Oh, I didn’t mean to…
I recently read another “how to pack your suitcase” type article, which I’m always interested in because, as a motivational speaker who spends a lot of time on the road, I sometimes glean useful tips – though at this point in my life, I could write a book on efficient packing. Listen, I know how…
Let me state upfront, Wonder Woman is a superheroine, not a human, so this article is NOT about urging you to juggle additional responsibilities, nor have a 17-inch waistline. Rather, I’d like to highlight a few truths we can learn from the comic book icon created during World War II. Yes, we can discover something…
Dear Colette, I’m the office manager at my company, where I’ve worked for almost a decade. During that time we have downsized dramatically. People are always watching what you do and how you do it or questioning whether it should even be done anymore. Even sighs are now evaluated. After working for the same boss…
Dear Colette, In the past, I’ve received feedback from my supervisor that I must learn to sometimes say “no” to others’ requests for my time on projects that aren’t necessarily within our scope. But guess what? The one time I did say “no” – in a nice way and offering alternatives – it was…
How did a little boy with a devastating secret grow up to eventually win the highest award possible in his field? Toronto Blue Jays pitcher R.A. Dickey asked for help and spoke his truth. I happened to catch his story on 60 Minutes recently and am compelled to share. May it inspire you as well.…
Dear Colette, I’m part of a sales team, and a colleague sometimes joins me on sales calls to offer technical support to the customer. She really knows her stuff, and I appreciate her knowledge, but she has a habit that I find incredibly distracting: She’s constantly fiddling with her hair – brushing her bangs…
Dear Colette, I’d like to get your insight into something I had to deal with recently with my teen daughter. Late one evening, over a school holiday, she received a text from a friend (not a close friend) that caused her concern. This girl, who’s known to be a drama queen, indicated she was…
Dear Colette, While I realize office gossip is not to be paid attention to, a few “oddities” have been occurring at work that, taken together, I find disturbing. The last unsettling piece is information from a colleague who told me she’s heard office whispers that my supervisor and two others are going to be “encouraged…
I’m a liar. Are you? Even though my passion and platform is Speak Your Truth, probably like you, I’ve stretched the truth (lied) to protect others from unnecessary hurt or pain. If I’m being honest, to protect myself as well. Come on, I didn’t really have to leave the party, but I’d had my fill…
Imagine my delight when reading Sheryl Sandberg’s bestseller Lean In and seeing the chapter titled, “Seek and Speak Your Truth.” I knew I liked her! The truth is, it doesn’t matter if you’re the COO of Facebook or the CEO of your household, the only way we can create the life we want is to…
Isn’t it interesting how, when spring fever hits, we spend time and energy organizing closets, washing windows and throwing out junk from the garage? Well, at a minimum we think about tackling these projects! Yet, we never take time to clear out negative thoughts or limiting thinking. We cling to those self-sabotaging subtleties that prevent…
Want to be treated differently by someone? Then change YOUR behaviors and you stand a better chance. It took this keynote speaker many years to understand that every day in every way, through our words and actions, we teach others – including our pets – how to treat us. I recently read a story that…
Despite all the trainings, workshops, classes – and best intentions – we all flub up on the job. It can be as mundane as forgetting to book the conference room for the client meeting or as serious as administering the wrong medication dosage. Of course, no one wants to mess up, especially at work. Probably…
Dear Colette, My husband, who is in sales, recently started working out of our home due to downsizing at his company. We’ve rearranged furniture to create an office space in a corner of the family room. It’s not ideal but is the only viable option for now. Here’s my dilemma: He’s earned lots of…
Dear Colette, Over the past year I’ve noticed that I don’t always enjoy parties or gatherings like I did in the past with my female friends. I used to look forward to playing Bunko, getting together for the holidays at the annual cookie exchange and even showing up for some of the in-home parties.…
Dear Colette, I’ve recently been Boo’d, a Halloween tradition that has cropped up in many neighborhoods. But as a working mom, I have no time or energy to run around and get what I need in order to Boo two houses within the 24-hour deadline. How do you deal with things like this? –…
Dear Colette, Bottom line is I lost my job earlier this year and have yet to find a new one. Thankfully, my husband is still working, but we are having a hard time making ends meet. We were never one of those families that went overboard on holiday gifts, but my 3 children (8,…
Dear Colette, As a female entrepreneur who advises small business start-ups, I’m often approached at networking meetings and asked, “Can I pick your brain on something?” I’m always in an awkward position as I want to be generous and helpful, but I also want to develop new clients. To date, when I’ve provided detailed…
Dear Colette, Since attending your seminar, I’ve been asking for what I need to be successful at work and enjoying the results. My problem is with my teenagers. I ask all the time for them to perform simple tasks around the house, and they still don’t do a thing until I yell. It’s exhausting…
Dear Colette, I work in a private Doctor’s office and there are two of us up in the front dealing with patients on a daily basis. Due to the Doctor’s choice, we are no longer accepting certain types of insurance and need payment in full the day of service. This is clearly communicated when…
Dear Colette, My friend recently joined a direct selling company and keeps bugging me to host an in-home demonstration party, and I keep saying it’s not a good time. When she’s not pushing me to coordinate this event, she’s always showing me her new catalog and saying how great the products are and encouraging…
Dear Colette, I thoroughly enjoyed your presentation today and found myself chuckling as I was reminded of miscommunications between myself and the men in my life. My question is: I am the mother of 2 girls, ages 5 and 3. As a mother are there things I can do to help them “speak their…
Dear Colette, My brother-in-law will once again be gracing our holiday table this season with his white lies. I don’t know how my sister deals with it (they’ve been married for over 17 years), but I’ve had enough. While telling a story he not only embellishes, but he’ll make stuff up, such as, how…
Dear Colette, With Halloween around the corner, my husband and I are once again in a stupid battle over costumes for our children. You see, I have a pre-teen daughter who wants to be Alice in Wonderland for Halloween, but the costume she wants to purchase is a bit revealing. My husband says there…
Dear Colette, I am very blessed and live in a spacious home with a beautiful, built-in pool in the backyard. My husband comes from a large family and every summer we entertain various members of his family on weekends and those who arrive from out of town for longer. Although I love spending time…
Dear Colette, I have a colleague who always wants to go to lunch, and I do enjoy her company. Trouble is, she is cheap. She is quick to pull out her wallet, throw down an amount and say, “That should cover my share” but she never thinks to include tax or tip. Once after…
Dear Colette, I’m responsible for coordinating and running a bi-weekly meeting with colleagues, and I’m over-the-top frustrated with how many individuals stroll in late. I keep these meetings short, have an agenda and stay on task. Since everyone needs to hear the information, I don’t want to start without at least half the members…
Dear Colette, I am not sure what to do in this situation. After I saw you on TV this morning I tried to think of a way that any of us could better handle this problem. In our (and in some other) neighborhoods, there is a terrible epidemic of dog owners, walkers, etc….who do…
Dear Colette, I’m going through a rough time. I’m unemployed and everytime I call my Mother she says how she’s “worried about me” or “I’m stressing her out” since I haven’t found a job. I just want her support but all she does it make me feel even worse after the call. What do…
Dear Colette, A co-worker in my office is extremely opinionated and feels it necessary to comment on every little thing. This can run the gamut of what someone is wearing, what I’m wearing, the proper way to fill out a form, why we shouldn’t have our annual holiday party, and the best way to…
Dear Colette, This year I am hosting the holiday meal, and my Grandfather will be joining us. Here’s my concern. He is extremely rude and makes caustic remarks. For example, one year he turned to my Grandmother and said, “Hey old lady, get this recipe. I like it.” Another time he called my youngest…
Dear Colette, When I get home from work I love to debrief with my husband. However, when I try to show an interest in his day, all I get back is one word answers. What can I do to get him to open up more?Left Out in Louisville Dear Left Out in Louisville, …
Dear Colette, With summer coming up, I’d really like to work half days on Fridays, not only to beat the wicked traffic home, but to spend more time getting away for the weekend with my family. We love to camp, and getting an early start would help. How should I approach my supervisor?Friday Freedom…
Dear Colette, How do you handle someone that brings all of their life problems or drama into the work place, as well as someone who is always complaining about their work? I hear her talk about it all day long and she constantly brings me into the conversation. I come home exhausted, not from…
Dear Colette, Last year my company hired someone to deliver a mentoring workshop, and at the end we were all assigned a mentor. I got stuck with this guy who barely communicates, isn’t interested in helping me, and we haven’t even gotten together in months. Every time I pass him in the hall, I…
Dear Colette, I just found out I’m pregnant with my first child and couldn’t be happier. However, I know my boss is going to react poorly to my taking maternity leave, and I’m wondering what to say when I tell him. I plan to return to work full-time after my leave is up, but…
Dear Colette, I recently heard a co-worker talking about his daughter’s cookie sale. I joined the conversation and asked about details, and he told me where the sign-up sheet was. About 5 minutes later, my co-worker approached me at my cube with the sign up sheet and brochure. I was so caught off-guard that…
Dear Colette, I have a co-worker who in the past I’ve had some issues with, and her cubicle backs directly up to mine. The problem is, there is a constant stream of people visiting all day long. The chatter is very distracting. I’m not sure how to get it to stop or have her…
Dear Colette, I recently graduated from college and started working in a large office. One of my more seasoned co-workers approached me recently and said, “If you want to advance in this company, you need to be more aware of your language.” This comment seemed to come out of nowhere, and up to this…
Dear Colette, A co-worker and I are both responsible for a project in our office. Recently, I overheard him discussing the progress with our supervisor. The way he was stating the information, it sounded like he did the majority of the work which hasn’t been the case. We have both been working hard on…
Dear Colette, I have a friend of 3 years, whom I would do anything for. Such as, cancel my plans with my fiancé to babysit her daughter, be there for her for all her problems, offer my help and advice, celebrate with her on special occasions. Take her out for her birthday, help her…
Dear Colette, My Mother has been seriously ill off and on over the past few years. Although she currently lives in her home state, she was living with me during some of the most difficult times when we weren’t sure if she was going to live. Now that she is back in her home…
Dear Colette, Every time I go to lunch with a co-worker she goes on and on about how she needs to lose weight and then she orders a juicy burger and fries or another high-caloric meal. I could care less what she eats or what she weighs but she is taking the fun out…
Dear Colette, I’m already dreading the next 20 years, and my son is only 11 months old! My husband and I have always taken turns traveling out of state to see my folks or his parents over the holidays. Now that we have the baby, my mother-in-law has already made noises about how excited…
Dear Colette, Without being prompted, a colleague hand delivered my resume to an individual with a company that I would love to work for. He says it looks good, but I won’t know for a few weeks. Just yesterday my boss, who I truly respect, asked me to take on an assignment that will…
Dear Colette, My sister and brother-in-law have two beautiful children that I adore spending time with. However, my sister and her husband don’t always work and can’t manage their money. In the past they have used seeing the children as a weapon to get more money out of my family. My parents decided not…
Dear Colette, I put myself on a budget a few months back because I was spending more than I make. Although I set aside some money for holiday shopping, I didn’t anticipate all the groups that have asked me to donate to their cause over the past few weeks. I feel guilty saying no…
Dear Colette, How do you deal with the person who stops by your office asking if you’ve “got a minute” when it’s never turns out to be a minute? I understand that they need to come to me for information, but how can I manage the time more effectively? No Time to Spare Dear…
Dear Colette, How can you tell when a guy really loves you or if he is just playing around? I want to get married, but my boyfriend of three years keeps telling me he’s not ready. Tired of Waiting Dear Tired of Waiting, Check out the latest book entitled, “He’s Just Not That…
Dear Colette, I’m house sitting with my husband this summer while ours is being remodeled. Most of the time this set-up is totally win-win because it helps us save on rent. However, most of these people have pets, and truthfully, I’m not a pet lover. I’m happy to provide for these animals, but the…
Dear Colette, About two months ago, my husband’s sister, who lives in another state, sent out a request for clothes that she was going to drive down to a shelter. As I donate my old clothes to a local organization, I didn’t send anything. However, for my nephew’s birthday I went on-line and purchased…
Dear Colette, My husband would love for me to just take off and join him on some of his business trips. Although I would love to go (usually at luxury properties), leaving the children behind is challenging. They are at an age where they still need full-time care, yet they also have many activities…
Dear Colette, I have a dear friend who has an extremely important position within her company. Therefore, I understand that she doesn’t have as much time to get together and socialize like before. On the few occasions we have managed to get together for lunch, she spent the better part of our time taking…
Dear Colette, As a Mother how do you deal with all of the projects and art work that children make in school? I can’t even see the front of our refrigerator anymore, yet I have difficulty parting with any of my children’s masterpieces. Any suggestions? Curator Mama Dear Curator Mama, Trust me, I’m…
Dear Colette, I work two days a week in an orthodontist’s office and am home the remaining three days with my children who are 1 and 2 ½ years old. When my husband comes home from work, he complains if I want to go out for awhile to get a break from the kids.…
Dear Colette, I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over two years and we’re in a dating rut. Every weekend we do the same old thing, and I’m bored. When I share my frustration, he asks what I want to do. I’m tired of always being the one to come up with new ideas. Any…
Dear Colette, I have an extremely sensitive friend who keeps sending me jokes and other chain letter email that I don’t want to receive. In fact, I want to cut back on my computer time but she is making it impossible! What should I do besides keep hitting “delete”? Frustrated in Cyberspace Dear Frustrated,…
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I was never the girl that got a dozen roses, or for that matter, anything at all on any Valentine’s Day until I dated my now ex-husband in my early 30’s. Wait — that’s not true. I could always count on my Mother sending me a…
So I was noodling around the internet the other day – something I’m sure none of you ever do – when I stumbled across a site touting its list of 25 TRUE but unusual facts. One of those items caught my eye: When Mahatma Gandhi died, an autopsy revealed that his small intestine contained five…
We all spend time trying to alleviate stress in a myriad of ways, and some of those strategies – polishing off a bag of chips or bottle of wine, or engaging in retail therapy (i.e. shop ’til you drop) – while enjoyable in the moment, ultimately add to our stress overload. Deep breathing, getting out…
You know the drill. Starting in January, everywhere you look you’re going to be inundated with frenzied messages urging you to make fresh starts, set goals, and take action (which is why you need to eat those holiday cookies now!!). But before you spend too much time figuring out where you’re going, the one thing…
Recognize the role truth plays in building trust My radar is always up when it comes to the message of truth, and the past few weeks it seems to be everywhere I turn. Even hunkered down last night to watch the movie, “The Invention of Lying” which takes place in an alternate reality in which…
How to stop being Passive-Digressive™ and start speaking your truth
He Says/She Says: The Truth About Gender Communication
How to say no to others so you can say yes to you. Article originally published in http://www.womensmedia.com/ (2004)
Embrace these tips and hit the pillow feeling upbeat about your day Balance Schmalance. You’ll never feel balanced as long as you have goals and dreams. Instead, look at how “balanced” your life is over a period of time, not a specific day of the week. Good is good enough. Stop wasting time creating the…
How to set yourself up for a successful outcome
What to Say With Regard to Pay: How to Effectively Negotiate Your Salary
How to Recognize it as a Gift and Accept it with Grace to Receive More of What you Want!
Everywhere you turn this time of year, you’re being admonished to be grateful. So I’m trusting you got that message. You’re absolutely radiating gratitude. In fact, at Thanksgiving dinner, you were so grateful to have had the opportunity to buy the groceries, clean the house and cook the meal, you managed to avoid chucking the…
Following a recent speaking engagement near Orlando, I had a chance to attend the Disney Institute. No, this isn’t a place where you learn to wish upon a star or how to detect poison apples. Rather, the Disney Institute is the Walt Disney Company’s consulting division that teaches businesses and organizations how to engage employees…
What overworked, overwhelmed parent hasn’t said “no” repeatedly, only to give in to a whiny, persistent child? After all, pick your battles, right? Not so fast. Saying one thing and then doing another can set you and your child up for a lifetime of unintended consequences. What to do instead? Speak Your Truth. Get your…
I was watching TV the other night – purely for the purpose of doing research for this blog post, of course, when I was drawn into an episode of “Restaurant: Impossible.” For anyone unfamiliar with this reality show, celebrity chef Robert Irvine helps failing restaurants make a turnaround. In two days, Robert and his team…
Who doesn’t love to be on the receiving end of appreciation for a job well-done? And in the workplace, it’s especially gratifying to see your hard work recognized. Even with companies keeping a sharp eye on the bottom line, reward programs can be effective. Meaningful doesn’t have to equal extravagant. Don’t get me wrong –…
If so, the truth is you need to go on a diet. A money diet. Now I realize that four-letter word can make the best of us run toward the nearest mall to stock up, just like starting a diet can send you on a Farewell to Food tour. But here’s why you must. Only…
Being easy isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, do you make it hard for people to work with you? Do your colleagues and clients have to jump through hoops to get work completed when you’re involved? Are you difficult to get hold of during business hours? Do you consistently provide all necessary information upfront;…
Your communication style might be costing you sales, a promotion or leadership opportunity. Different communication styles can be offensive in the workplace, or at least drive people crazy and add stress to their lives. There are female communication styles, male styles, and Bridge Brains. A Bridge Brain is someone in the middle of the gender/brain…
What do a magazine editor, an emergency room doctor, and a career Marine sergeant have in common? They were all fired within the last 30 days for Facebook postings. As a motivational speaker who teaches the power of speaking your truth I was compelled to learn more. Were these professionals speaking their truth? How can…
What does the crème filling of an Oreo cookie have in common with Administrative Professionals? Everything! Without that crème, there’s no magic center that holds it all together. You’re left with two chocolate disks that sit there waiting for something special to happen, and admin professionals are that special ingredient. Unfortunately, too often administrative professionals…
In today’s new normal of fewer resources – less staff, less time, and constantly changing priorities, many of us are afraid to say no. I get it. It’s natural to fear that if you say no, you’ll suffer consequences – poor performance reviews, your supervisor or coworkers won’t like you, or complaints that you are…
I was at a Dude Ranch deep in the heart of Texas with some gal pals a while back when Cowboy Larry said “Come here, Little Lady. (It’s all perspective!) Are you willing to stand on a horse?” What?! Why would anyone over the age of 10 want to do that? Let alone at my…
As a motivational speaker that teaches women how to Stress Less and Laugh More, I am a still a recovering perfectionist trying to let go of dirty dishes in the sink, picking up after everyone, and hoping my dust bunnies will magically hop away come Easter. A recent Forbes article really drove women’s choices: 49%…
Let’s face it. Love is messy. RELATIONSHIPS are messy. And success in life, no matter how you define success, requires a strong foundation of relationships – both professional and personal. Your relationships with coworkers, supervisors, customers, your significant other, friends, children, parents, siblings….. all roll up to the quality of your life and the “results”…
Even at my age (it will be raining later this week according to my knees!), there is nothing better than starting your day with a big hug and kiss from your parents. Well, I guess that depends on whether you like your parents, but mine rock. And if I really think about why I’ve become…
You’re being lied to. You know it, or at least you suspect it. Fakes, imposters, and liars surround you. And it’s everywhere. At work: A Montclair University study about lying in the workplace discovered: 91% of participants “believed lying occurs to some degree in the workplace.” The top 10 lies included: covering up a mistake,…
What is the value of your word? One of my coaching clients recently hosted a direct sales party. If you’re unfamiliar, the get-togethers follow the Tupperware party model, but showcase everything from cooking tools to clothing, anti-aging creams to adult toys. Fifteen people said they would come, and eighteen more said maybe. Not wanting to…
Every year I send out an email around Thanksgiving about gratitude. Personally, I’m grateful I’ve learned to speak my truth in my thoughts, my words, and actions. Doing so has led me to stress less, laugh more, and enjoy what the holidays really mean to me – spending quality time with loved ones instead of…
“You’re too smart to not remember his name,” are the exact words Harvey Mackay, founder and chairman of a $100 million company and author of six New York Times bestselling books, shared with me prior to a dinner engagement during the annual National Speaker’s Association Conference. His sage advice ringed with truth and reminded me…
Note: This post was created in 2011, yet every takeaway remains as powerful today. Cmon, simply look at the Kardashians’ growth since then to prove these strategies rock! Even if you despise pop culture, you’ve probably heard of the Kardashians thanks to Kris Jenner who landed her family $65 million in endorsement deals and TV…
Career Growth Strategies we can Learn from Domino’s Pizza Speaking the Truth!
Are you someone who looks forward to Valentine’s Day sending out cards and well wishes to friends and family or do you lock yourself in the house with a box of chocolates wondering why you aren’t in the relationship of your dreams? Somewhere in the middle? Why not see the day for what it is?…
Colette Carlson, speak your truth, holiday stress, sharing, compassion, slow down, gift of time, holiday giving, finding meaning, joy of giving, veterans, perspective
Comparing yourself to others is a waste of time and energy! Be yourself.
“Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you,” I sang quietly given that I was in a crowded airport. Our tradition of forcing family members to sing their age to the same melody hasn’t changed. “I am 85 years old, I am 85 years old. Today is my birthday. I am 85 years old!” my…
If you want success, sleep on it.
Speaking Your Truth. It sounds so simple, yet it can be the most difficult thing to do for so many. Myself included. For too many years I thought keeping the lips zipped or stretching the truth so far it could snap was safer than being real. After all, it protected me from possible rejection, losing…
