Dear Colette,
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over two years and we’re in a dating rut. Every weekend we do the same old thing, and I’m bored. When I share my frustration, he asks what I want to do. I’m tired of always being the one to come up with new ideas. Any suggestions?
Bored with Blockbuster
Dear Bored,
If you think your boyfriend is suddenly going to become a creative weekend planner, he’s not. In the majority of relationships I know, it’s a rare man that doesn’t defer the social calendar to his partner (aside from any sporting event). It sounds like your boyfriend is willing to try something new, he’s just clueless. So, you have two choices. Accept that you will be responsible for creating some fun (and hopefully broaden his repertoire) or leave him behind and make plans with your girlfriends.
If you decide to create some fun, prepare a letter for your honey to complete and give back to you. This letter has blanks to fill in or choices to circle. For example, “I plan (Friday, Saturday Sunday) night to take you somewhere new within _____ miles of my apartment. While there we will (kiss, dance, touch) for 5 minutes before (I tell you a story about my grade school, tell you about the time I first laid eyes on you, tell you about somewhere I want to visit)”. You get the idea, right? You can make this as simple or elaborate as your desire. You get a fun evening and he is still participating in making it happen. Another idea is to utilize the alphabet each week. For example, the first week he has to come up with something to do that involves the letter “A” — visit an airport, pretend your leaving, have a big make-out scene and then go to the airport bar and order “A”ppetizers. It sounds goofy, but trying new things is what makes relationships feel new. Then again, you might just want to skip the “B’s” (Blockbuster, Beer,) Let me know how it goes.
