Dear Colette,
As a female entrepreneur who advises small business start-ups, I’m often approached at networking meetings and asked, “Can I pick your brain on something?” I’m always in an awkward position as I want to be generous and helpful, but I also want to develop new clients. To date, when I’ve provided detailed information, I find the individual never employs my services as they’ve got enough to run with, but I don’t know what to say otherwise that doesn’t sound sales-y. I’m certain you get this question a lot as a speaker, so how do you handle it?
Brain Picked To Death
Dear Brain Picked To Death,
Good question, and yes I relate. When this happened so often I found myself blocking more time helping others than working on my own business growth, I reached out to a few colleagues I respect for answers. Ironically, one said “Colette, Speak Your Truth! Tell them exactly what you told me.” So here’s some of my own ideas combined with some great advice from others in order to not lose track of your own time and goals:
1. Speak Your Truth. I answer by saying, “I hope you can appreciate how many times others want to know how to begin a speaking career. In fact, I found myself spending so much time helping or mentoring others that I lost track of my own business growth goals. So, if you have a fast, specific question I can answer in a couple of minutes, I’m happy to help. If you’re looking for more detailed information, I’d be happy to work with you as a coaching client and can share more about that should you have an interest.” Usually sorts people out pretty quickly and makes them get specific. Advice from Barry Moltz is to say, “Do you need help as a possible paying client or just some friendly advice?” which sets up clear expectations from the beginning.
2. Set boundaries. People are wonderful and often want to reciprocate your giving advice by taking you to lunch or getting a cup of coffee, but I usually say, “Rather than get together, I’d prefer to set a phone time and would be happy to block X minutes.” This allows me to help and saves me a ton of drive time, not to mention having to put on mascara before leaving the house. Plus, by limiting the amount of time upfront it makes it easier to say, “Wow, it’s already been X minutes so I need to get to my project (or whatever is calling you away), but again if you should ever desire to be a client, I’d be thrilled to work with you.” Keep in mind during those X minutes I’m giving them my best stuff and am focused so they too receive value and are left with a positive impression.
Remember, there’s a fine line between paying it forward and not getting paid! Listen to your intuition and walk the line with grace.
