Dear Colette,
I have a colleague who always wants to go to lunch, and I do enjoy her company. Trouble is, she is cheap. She is quick to pull out her wallet, throw down an amount and say, “That should cover my share” but she never thinks to include tax or tip. Once after putting in exactly what I owed after she had already contributed, I said, “Mmm, I know I totaled mine up correctly and included tax and tip, yet we seem a bit shy.” She said and did nothing, so I made up the difference again. I don’t want to offend her, so what do you suggest I say or do?
Always Kicking in More
Dear Always Kicking in More,
Why is it that too many individuals (women in particular) have difficulty when it comes to asking clearly and directly for what they deserve? You’re concerned about offending her, yet she doesn’t seem concerned at all about ripping you off on your lunch excursions. Although you may have felt that you asked her to pitch in more loot in the past, you asked in a Passive DigressiveTM manner by being indirect, roundabout and hinting. The next time she throws in less than her fair share, speak up assertively. “Your food and drink comes to X amount of dollars plus when you add the tax and tip which is X, the actual total is Y.” Then be quiet until she coughs up the difference.
