Let’s face it. Love is messy. RELATIONSHIPS are messy.
And success in life, no matter how you define success, requires a strong foundation of relationships – both professional and personal. Your relationships with coworkers, supervisors, customers, your significant other, friends, children, parents, siblings….. all roll up to the quality of your life and the “results” you achieve in your life.
Even that wonderful candy that promises to “melt in your mouth not in your hands” WILL melt in your hands if you hold it tight enough and long enough.
Which brings me to the question, how messy are your relationships?
Many of us avoid disagreements, arguments, and risk in an effort to have perfect relationships wrapped in neat little bows. We’re afraid of being messy which means we are faking it…lying to ourselves and others. Trust me I know. I was a big faker for a long time!
If you’re truly engaging, connecting, communicating, brainstorming, selling, and working with others, you’re bound to have messy moments.
How do we stay true to ourselves without experiencing a tumultuous emotional roller coaster? How do you think, live, and speak your truth without a mess of oozy gooey melted chocolate in your hands?
I suggest “CHOOSE LOVE”.
L – LISTEN. Everyone wants to be heard. Listen with all your senses -your eyes, ears, heart. Rather than get frustrated with a colleague who missed a deadline or a client calling to complain, hear them out. Teenager walk in the door late and you’re about to explode? Listen, before reacting.
O – OWN your own stuff. Whenever I find myself in a messy situation, I’ve learned to internally ask, “What role did I play in this?” In other words, did I communicate ineffectively? Am I bringing baggage into this conversation? Is my needing to be right rearing its ugly head?
V -VULNERABILITY. True connection demands vulnerability. It took me years to understand that my fear of being vulnerable also prevented me from experiencing true happiness.
E – EXPRESS your Truth. Hallmark coined the phrase “When you care enough to send the very best”. One of my favorite Colette-isms is “when you care enough to speak your truth.”
In your interactions this week, choose an attitude of LOVE. Love for yourself and love for others. Listen, Own your stuff, be Vulnerable, and Express your truth with patience and compassion.
I think you’ll find the quality and depth of your relationships will improve…even if they get a little messy in the journey.
And as an aside, I was recently providing my Stress Less, Laugh More program. The audience called out what they were going to put on their NOT to-do list. A clean house was the first answer! Yup, these women were willing to have a messy house to enjoy life more fully. Is messy so bad when it means you are choosing another value you find more important? So go get messy and enjoy more real relationships.
What do you think?