As a leader, what can the often-frustrating experience of waiting in line teach us about patience, perspective, presence, and our own anxiety levels?
In a delightful foray into the world of lines, Michael Blanding’s Harvard Business Review article, Customers at the Back of the Line Are Anxious—Can You Keep Them from Leaving? pulls back the curtain on this modern-day trial. It turns out, my fellow line-hoppers, our TSA line dances and supermarket shuffle aren’t just random acts of desperation. They’re a testament to our societal FOMO and a misplaced belief that the grass is always greener in the other lane.
Enter Ryan Buell, Harvard’s own professor of queues, who, alongside a saintly patient research assistant, spent 5 hours (were there free samples?) watching 300 supermarket warriors jockey for position like it’s the final lap at the Daytona 500. Their findings? We’re all just scared of being last, fearing that it somehow brands us as the biggest losers in the grocery game. Once someone queues up behind us, though, we stand our ground—out of 71 line-changers, 67 made their move from the very back. It seems there’s comfort in not being at the end of the line.
But wait, there’s more. About six months ago the Neuropsych newsletter presented a research article entitled: How our obsession with making things better ironically makes us unhappy. The article summarized research by post-doctoral researchers Adam Mastroianni and Ethan Ludwin-Peery, that explored how and why we constantly weigh things up. “In our jobs,” states the article, “we moan about what could be better. In our relationships, we fantasize about how our partner could change. And within minutes of buying something new, we imagine ways it could be better. We can’t find a single thing that people, on average, imagine being worse. Nor have we found any group of people that doesn’t seem to do it.” The key point of the research, they concluded, “this strange thing about this psychology of comparison, though, is that we rarely imagine the ways that things could be worse. Spoiler alert: things could always be worse.
3 Powerful Ways to Make Life & Lines Better:
Communicate Early & Often. Knowledge acts as a buffer against the stress and frustration of waiting, whether for an outcome, an update, or strategic direction. When individuals are armed with information, they are better equipped to manage their expectations and adjust their attitudes accordingly. In the context of waiting in line, as highlighted by Ryan Buell’s research, when customers are provided with updates about the wait time or reasons for a delay, their frustration levels tend to decrease. They perceive the waiting period as a known quantity, something they can mentally prepare for, rather than an indefinite expanse of time. This principle of communication building patience is not limited to physical queues but applies universally across human interactions.
Leaders who openly communicate and inform employees about organizational changes or strategic shifts create an environment of transparency and trust. In group projects, when individuals are kept in the loop, their understanding of the project’s complexity and challenges increases, leading to more realistic expectations about deadlines and deliverables. This transparency fosters a culture of collaboration, reducing tensions and misunderstandings that often arise from uncertainty. Similarly, salespeople updating customers about the status of their purchases or service requests can significantly impact customer satisfaction. In scenarios where delays are unavoidable, customers who receive timely and honest communication about the reasons for the delay and the expected resolution time are more likely to remain patient and loyal. By prioritizing communication, individuals and organizations can not only mitigate the negative effects of waiting but also build stronger, more resilient relationships with their stakeholders.
Dare NOT to Compare. As Teddy Roosevelt wisely said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Focus on your lane and let the rest of the world do its thing. For businesses, this principle encourages focusing on their unique value propositions, strengths, and customer relationships rather than being preoccupied with competitors’ every move. This focus allows companies to innovate and grow based on their internal vision and customer feedback, rather than chasing the market in a reactive fashion. Such a strategy not only fosters a culture of creativity and self-reliance but also helps in carving out a distinct market position.
On a personal level, avoiding comparison liberates individuals from the endless cycle of measuring self-worth against others’ achievements, appearances, or possessions. Embracing one’s path without the constant need to compare fosters a sense of contentment, self-acceptance, and gratitude. This mindset encourages personal growth at one’s own pace and according to one’s own values, leading to a more fulfilling and joyous life. In both contexts, steering clear of comparison paves the way for genuine satisfaction and success, grounded in authenticity and self-awareness.
Let it Go for Less Stress. Accept your circumstances and be present. Fretting over things beyond your control, like the pace of the line, only adds to stress. Imagine you’re in line at your favorite coffee shop, tapping your foot, sighing loudly, and calculating if you’ll have enough time to make the morning meeting. But here’s the kicker: stressing over the slow-moving line doesn’t make it go any faster; it just makes you the unofficial conductor of the Stress Express. Accepting that you can’t speed up the line by sheer willpower is like a mental exhale. Suddenly, you notice the music playing or the barista’s ninja-like espresso skills. By the time your name is called, you might even be a tad disappointed to leave the scene. So, next time you’re inching forward in life’s queues, remember, you might actually be moving faster than you think—unless you’re in the DMV; then all bets are off.
