Dear Colette,
I’m part of a sales team, and a colleague sometimes joins me on sales calls to offer technical support to the customer. She really knows her stuff, and I appreciate her knowledge, but she has a habit that I find incredibly distracting: She’s constantly fiddling with her hair – brushing her bangs back, tucking and untucking her hair behind her ears, or twirling a strand around her fingers. She even does this head whip that flips her hair if her hands are busy writing. I believe I need to have a conversation with her, as I think it detracts from the presentation. Am I being overly critical, or would others find this distracting when we’re trying to identify client needs? Should I say something to her, and if so, how would you suggest I broach this subject?
– Distraction in Action
Dear Distraction in Action,
First, I believe you have your colleague’s best interest at heart, as well as, being concerned about her behavior impacting the professionalism of your sales presentation. Straight up, I bet she is not aware of how often she touches her hair. Most of us have habits that unless pointed out go undetected. For example, as a teen I was clueless how often I touched my face until my mother went on a mission to consistently point it out under the guise of saving me from future zits! I coached a client once with the exact same hair issue, and when I pointed it out, she was completely unaware. Even after bringing it to her attention, she had a hard time stopping until I raised my hand every time she twirled her hair during our one-on-one conversations. Sometimes those habits stem from nerves, and even if we outgrow our fears, the habit remains. Yes, you need to talk with her and there is a way to do so without putting her into a defensive mode.
Open the discussion when it’s just the two of you, and you both have time to talk. Start by asking, “Would you be open to some feedback regarding yesterday’s presentation that I believe might be distracting to our clients?”
If she’s receptive, ask, “Are you aware that you brush your bangs back and twirl your hair around your finger every few minutes?” She’ll likely admit she’s unaware of that habit.
Gently point out, “I believe those types of unconscious habits can distract from the message we’re delivering to the customer.” If you had a habit that you had to eliminate, relate that as well. “I understand how we can be unaware of our own habits. I used to constantly use the filler word ‘Hence’ when giving presentations. Fortunately, my colleague took the risk to point it out to me and I was really grateful, as it improved my professionalism and sales skills. In fact, would you please bring to my attention anything I do now or later that gets in the way of us rocking our presentation? My goal is for us both to be successful and so we need to stick together!”
Hopefully, your colleague will be just as appreciative of your feedback. If you have more time, you might consider acknowledging the depth of information she brought to the meeting and cite specifics to end the conversation on a more positive note.
If she still can’t stop, suggest she wear a headband before your next presentation together!