Dear Colette,
I recently graduated from college and started working in a large office. One of my more seasoned co-workers approached me recently and said, “If you want to advance in this company, you need to be more aware of your language.” This comment seemed to come out of nowhere, and up to this point she had been a great resource for me to learn new tasks. I asked her what she meant by that statement, and she simply said, “You sound like you’re in high school. No one is going to take you seriously unless you become more aware of your language.” I can’t help the fact that I have a soft voice, and now I feel awkward around her. What should I do?
Soft–spoken in Seattle
Dear Soft–spoken in Seattle,
First off, are you sure that she was referring to the softness of your voice? When I read your letter my mind immediately jumped to the language I often hear my two teenage daughters use. “I’m like, ya know…” which you KNOW drives me nutty because it isn’t proper, or easy to understand.
Please go back and get clarification from her feedback. Ask her, “When you say I sound like I’m in high school, what specifically are you referring to? Is it the softness of my voice or is it the words I choose to use?” Only when you know exactly where she is coming from can you evaluate her input accurately.
This woman, who has been a great resource for you to date, may be sharing this input with you in order to help you grow because she sees great potential.
If it is your language that she is referring to, make it a point to start becoming aware of any speech crutches (um, ah, like, etc.) and begin to change your behaviors. You can put a rubber band on your wrist to snap every time you use a filler word, or join your local Toastmasters www.Toastmasters.org to get weekly practice in your area. For all I know she is referring to language she deems inappropriate or swearing. It’s always best to err on the side of not offending anyone by choosing different ways to express yourself.
If it’s your voice that makes you sound young, you can do exercises to lower your pitch. There are numerous books at your library and plenty of information to be found on the web to help. You want to be taken seriously at work, and your voice is often the only thing customers or clients hear while working with you.
Remember, instead of feeling awkward about this feedback, take it for what it’s worth – a gift.
